I'm mental.
It's official, see? I'm a true, lock-her-up-and-throw-away-the-key type. I took a depression test, and there was a forum thing, for people who'd scored what I had, pretty much. There was a lady signed up with the site, because it was an official doctors and shit type site, with clinics in real life and all that, and we started up a chat and guess what? She fucking diagnosed me. Dysthymia. That's what I've got. Legal nutcase here. It's even got a fancy name. I've actually been diagnosed, by a doctor, with a psychological issue.
I don't know how to feel. I don't know if I believe her, seeing as it was over the internet. She could be a freak, the whole site and company could be a bunch of nutcases. But really, if it's true, how am I supposed to feel about knowing I'm a true nutter? How do I react? I don't know. I don't really care. It's just weird. I don't feel crazy, or depressed. Just sad most of the time. Not depressed. Not someone with dysthymia.
Honestly, I think I'm just a little bit scared.
chances are we're all truly mental. i'm sorry saddling a label has jarred you. but i wouldn't take it to heart, honestly. hang in there darling, dysfuckingthymia&all.
ReplyDeletexoxo
zette
ive taken depression tests, and i always score insanely high... but do my parent believe me? nope. and im sorry youre scared, im a bit scared too now that i think of it. but hang in there.
ReplyDelete<3
That word does sound scary, but it's not so bad. Just because someone gave you a name for how you feel doesn't make you any different.
ReplyDeleteI'm diagnosed as having major depressive disorder. It's lame, but it's nice to know that I'm not just weird, and it IS a medical problem, you know?
ReplyDelete<3
<3 Oh love.. You are, still, completely as wondrous as before diagnosed. After all; what is a diagnosis, but a word? The connotations, the links that people connect a diagnosis with, are only those which they believe, or assume.
ReplyDeleteYou, write your own story. You create yourself.
You are so much more, than just a diagnosis.
x
Oh babes, don't worry. I read it up and it sounds absolutely terrifying but don't forget that you're not alone, you have us.. To talk to, rant to, cry to, laugh to.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry all that much, you can't do anything, and well, I guess you knew that something was wrong a little longer right? Being diagnosed doesn't make any difference to how you feel, except for the fact that now you KNOW what it is.
If you are really that worried, you should see a doctor. You don't have to mention anything except for the dysthymia love, there are so many out here who have meds for depressions & stuff like that. It aint that bad, you're not a freak, you're a brave girl who's trying, and that's all you can do.
Love, x
We are ALL mental.
ReplyDeleteLot of people are.
Having a "diagnosed" title doesn't make it any more or less, it just means you have a name for it besides "fucked up."
Don't worry too much. Doubt the credentials of anyone linking generalized diagnostic tests with the clinic of their employment. Dysthymia is a fancy way of saying chronic, mild to moderate depression. No psychosis. It exists primarily for insurance coverage, for the people who think they need professional help but aren't crazy enough to justify the expense.
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